While I'm still a Doer - being infinitely curious about life - I don't fret about loss of time. (it's a work in perpetual progress though)
I have now noticed that many people have a need to tell others how busy they are. Not a casual remark like any other we make about our days. I'm talking about people that hold a fear within that if they are not busy they are inferior.
Because being idle is wrong..... isn't it?
see the owl/cat spirit rising as steam?
We must be industrious, productive, have big To Do lists, achieve things, complete goals, Contribute To Society, have a weekend worth blogging about.
How self-indulgent, how selfish, how irresponsible! To just be.
These days, I'm proud to say...
I read a book.
I played.
I went for a long walk.
I spotted shapes in the clouds with Miss 3.
I had tea in silence and let my mind wander.
I read a book.
I played.
I went for a long walk.
I spotted shapes in the clouds with Miss 3.
I had tea in silence and let my mind wander.
When I manage such moments amidst the many things I desire to do, I know I have achieved something really important. In silence and idleness, I have re-balanced, centred, allowed creativity to breathe, and re-connected to that bigger something, that Oneness thing we all talk about. Without even trying.
Several hours passed, and I remained near my window gazing on the sea; it was almost motionless, for the winds were hushed, and all nature reposed under the eye of the quiet moon.
Mary Shelly, Frankenstein
I believe that's it's more than okay to be still,
it's essential.
I so love your words and spirit, therapy....
ReplyDeleteSue x
i will. i `ll learn to stay still. this is a promise to myselv. i just have to in order to put things in the right place. and find some peace
ReplyDeleteHello, I'm quite new here and have no recollection of how I arrived, but glad I did because I love your posts, especially this one. :)
ReplyDeleteThe whole thing rings true for me, especially with the noticing how it seems to be a mark of distinction these days if you're too busy to do anything nice/fun/relaxing in your life. I'm practising being still these days as well; slow progress because I love to be Doing, but so worth it when I do just sit and be quiet!
I'm guilty.
ReplyDeleteI'm also guilty of , when the phone rings and I answer, and the person on the other end asks me what I'm doing, I usually lie and say "cleaning" or something like that. I feel guilty if I say "reading". And when my mom asks what I'm doing over the weekend, if I say "nothing" I always get "What do you mean? Don't you have something to do?"
I haven't been posting much lately. I put one together yesterday about how I'm scrubbing the house, as kind of an explanation to why I've been absent. Then I thought "Do people really care that I'm cleaning? Do I need to explain myself?" I deleted it 5 minutes later. It did have a good Grateful Dead song, though. ;)
Learning it's okay to be idle is definitely something I need to work on.
Lovely words to live by Mon...stillness is gold and probably the greatest gift I can give myself :). And I am learning it doesn't have to be a big production either--5 minutes in the morning, with a cup of coffee in the back patio--heaven :).
ReplyDeletexoxo
That is so true. Somehow we only feel important if we're constantly busy. That's a little sad. I have yet to learn to be more idle and less productive all the time. Yoga really helps...
ReplyDelete♥
Camila Faria
Hi,
ReplyDeleteI am a Doer as well. Your words struck me because I know what you are talking about. Being idle is difficult for me, perhaps not even wise. But in the past I realised I talked too much about being busy and started to pay attention to that. So I think I have learned a distinction there that´s good for me.
But I think people value idleness in the blogosphere also. People know it´s a path to creativity and can have many pleasing side products.
welcome Tara glad you stumbled in.
ReplyDeleteAmanda, god knows what impression i've left on others as i tend to say 'nothing much' even when i am madly in the middle of something, just nothing easily describable.
MJ, i'm working hard on getting up to 20mins of idleness. *wink*
Niina, you're right, amongst Creatives there is a good understanding of the value of daydreaming, of letting the muse breathe.
I am a doer by nature also and learned the value of stillness the hard way in the wake of being bedridden for several years. At first I fought it like crazy. Pushed, pushed, pushed against it because I felt like I needed to catch up on the years I'd "lost", then I started seeing the value in what I was gaining. I still have moments (hours, days, weeks, months even) when I forget, so it is a constant work in progress, but all in all I am now really happy about the stillness and crave it when life does get too busy.
ReplyDeleteOh, how my husband and I can't stand it when people go on and on about how busy they are, as if that validates their existence/importance, excuses them from interpersonal relationships, etc.
ReplyDeleteI'm quite happy to be an idler, though I still find myself thinking I should be "doing" something all too often.
Great post!
You are so right, it is essential! I'm trying to be better about this, taking more moments to be still and to appreciate it.
ReplyDeleteYou're one hundred million percent right. I'm still trying to learn this...probably will be for the rest of my life. It's in the middle of stillness that I find myself again and I need to find myself so much these days. Thanks for a wonderful reminder.
ReplyDeleteWonderful insight as usual Monica.
ReplyDeleteI am so guilty of this kind of thing (as I sit here typing while running over in my head the list of things i need to get at the market today).
I find the last few years I've gotten worse in the sense that I can't seem to just be...I think that as the holidays approach, just when the "to-do" lists ramp up, I will make a concerted effort to slow down. It is hard tho when, as you point out, there seems to be some societal frowning upon the idea of not being "productive" every minute of every day.
Silence is key - it's been awhile since I've had that for an extended period of time. Sometimes I'll drive to work without the radio on just to get some silence!
ReplyDeleteohh....how did you do that? how did you pull out exactly what I've been feeling? wowowowow.
ReplyDeleteI need to clean less and stomp in rain puddles more this week. It's that simple. If I can't do it for me, then for my kids. Period.
(is there joy pockets this week at your other site?_
You're my hero! I believe that one of the major problems in our society today (at least in the industrialized nations) is that we are made to feel guilty or lazy if we feel the need to just "be". In this age of instant communication and the pressure to do more and do it faster, I am mourning the loss of a slower time. When my children were young, I cut off the cable and limited internet access, and now they tell me how grateful they are...they read, they daydreamed, they played outside, they nourished their creativity...most importantly, they learned to enjoy and be comfortable with just being by themselves.
ReplyDeleteThank you for reminding me to be still today!
xx
Monica , what beautiful words. I usually smile when people tell me how busy they are so they sound important... i find it so ridiculous!
ReplyDeleteI think they are just running away from themselves. Silence, solitude quiet time are all essential ingredients for a soul to grow...
xo sandra
Absolutely essential, Monica, you are right. I just took a month off to do nothing but be still...to step back into my life before the internet etc. changed my world. It was one of the best months I've had in a very long time. The sunsets I didn't miss, the birds I heard singing, the books I read...and on and on. Many moments to be savored that I wouldn't have experienced had I been at my desk. Now this respite will periodically become a regular part of my life. I always want to be able to step back into that world. Loved this post.
ReplyDeleteCatherine
I believe this with my whole heart as well. Thank you for expressing it so eloquently.
ReplyDeleteMonica...thank you for writing this. I know too many people in my life who are trying to do too much and it wears on the body AND the soul. Life goes by fast, I think this is a good reminder to slow down and enjoy it. I just spent an hour sitting my car in the CVS parking lot letting my 9 month old sleep, while I sipped on my tea and listed to the falling rain. It was...incredible. xo
ReplyDeleteGood thoughts. I don't know what it is but it's like some people simply thrive on stress. I get tired just listening to their plans ;-)
ReplyDeleteHope you'll enjoy a wonderful and relaxing weekend!
I always needed a lot of downtime, but I always had a hard time admitting it. so for me it's not about learning to be still but about not feeling slightly ashamed for it anymore. I'm an introvert, and apparently we do need a lot of time to digest input, so being still is truly essential.
ReplyDeletehave a great weekend xx
Oh, this came right in the perfect moment. Talking about synchronicity! I had a weekend like that. Just being. Enjoying the time passing by...
ReplyDeleteThen the phone rang. And then the voice on the other side said: do you have time for a meeting today? And I felt like saying... no, because I am doing nothing and I'm enjoying it!
But I didn't, of course. Them i kept thinking about this. Why do we feel the need of justifying? Why do we have to constantly be doing something?
beautiful words, beautiful photo, beautiful quote at the end...
ReplyDeleteI am guilty but feel my busyness a bit necessary now with an empty nest. Stillness and soaking are essential to life with a wee one...
Will try to recapture... Happy weekend!
i'm so glad you allowed yourself that time Alexa, i totally know how wonderful it would have been. ;)
ReplyDeleteyes, exactly Petra, allowing stillness to be something achieved and productive and worthwhile.
Ines, yes, we feel awful saying we're doing nothing, especially to certain people.
Green Goose, the tibetan monks would say it's essential even in the quietest lifestyles. lol
yes, yours is a specific situation. relearning stillness, to see it again as something not to be feared.
oh, yes. definitely. i've also had to learn not to feel guilty about being quiet and still.
ReplyDeletehave a great weekend!
being still and quiet renews the spirit but never be still for too long.
ReplyDeleteBeautiful post, Monica! I think it talks about the central theme of our life today. It also makes me remember the Greek philosopher Diogenes. I loved that Mary Shelley quote you have posted - so beautiful! I will bookmark this page and keep coming back to this post when I need inspiration.
ReplyDeleteStillness is important because it forces you to listen. I rarely succumb to stillness but usually it's outside in the high desert at night where I can see the stars glittering like crazy. I guess that's one of the perks of Colorado! I think we all have our little places we fall in love with the idea of just being.
ReplyDeleteI love to do nothing, in fact I am sure its my primary strength, unfortunately I have found it doesn't pay the bills !
ReplyDeleteIt is essential. I'm quite annoyed by how busy I have to be at the moment, not because of a sense of needing to feel important or for the sake of being busy to fill up my life, but because I have exams on, and a whole swag of child-related stuff. So I steal moments to just be. Relaxing in a bath, sipping a cuppa and looking at the sky. I try to make sure that those moments of just being are not "scheduled" moments, but just when I intuitively really need them to happen. It makes a massive difference to how we feel doesn't it?
ReplyDeleteI do find, that I quite enjoy the balance between the doing, the action of existence, and the stillness. One being necessary to the other, or one enriching the other, making for a more whole existence.
idleness can be different, sometimes it can be productive in terms of 'relaxing and balancing your mind', but sometimes it can be a waste of time. But it`s a matter of personal attitude i think.
ReplyDeleteOne of my favourite posts of yours to date, Monica... such beautiful writing here. My (lovely) mum has never been one to relax and in recent years, I've headed down a simliar, albeit slightly dilluted path. "Productive" is a big word in her vocabulary for decribing her week and her never-ending to do list. She is unable to enjoy a comfortable silence; endures it if she has to. My MIL is the complete opposite - takes time to ponder, read, enjoys the quiet, makes time for herself and is so much happier for it. Not meaning to compare the two women, but the positve influence of someone who embraces the stillness has really helped me see the importance of living life this way. Being light on extra cash/living a simple life also helps :)
ReplyDeletewhen I AM busy, i try to see it as my choice. motherhood, work, study, i see them as choices. it helps to then not feel resentment or frustration... but that's a different busyness topic! lol
ReplyDeleteliving a simple life does help Paula! i used to complicate things so much. :)
insightful post. I think I'm a doer, but I do take time to relax and enjoy things but like you I felt the pressure of having wasted that time. Our society places so much pressure on people to be anything other than average! hence people feel the need to be busy and tell you all about it!
ReplyDeleteYour list of things you did sounds wondeful and relaxing :)
Obviously this post struck a chord with a lot of people, based on the comments. I have had to work through this a lot - my family, and my husband's, are very steeped in the 'protestant work ethic' of work/busyness defining worth. I found I carried it into my spiritual path when I started meditating, judging how I was doing by how long or often I meditated, etc. I definitely am a doer, so have had to find ways to make space for stillness. I find I tend to run in phases of a few months at a time, where I am very inward, and then very outward. But it is always a process, and having kids has definitely brought another kind of busyness in too...
ReplyDeleteI love it! I always feel pressure to be doing something "productive" and I lose sight of what's really important.
ReplyDeleteit is essential, and it's really interesting how difficult it is to let go and be idle for a little while in the modern world. I think doing nothing, just staring into space or reading a book, is probably one of the most productive things I can do as a writer.
ReplyDeleteI love your writing style :) I've recently discovered that meditation - sitting still, listening to my breath - is one of the best things I can do for my body and mind.
ReplyDeleteI agree. We have lost the art of doing nothing (nothing being not working / earning money /etc). I too like the simpler things in life, but these days I have to admit, I am busier than I have been in 2011 than in all 33 years of my life to date. It is simple though, I am working towards a simpler life, but it involves studies at this moment, so every moment is spent on something. What I have learned though, is to stop planning and creating time slots; to do what I can when I can and when I feel able to. With a 2 year old, studies, a 9 to 5 and a second job (forming part of my studies - I am not being greedy, but moving step by step), it was a lesson I was finally forced to learn - my poor, organised self learned fast and well, I am proud to admit. We live more in the moment these days than we did before, because every day is different, and nothing can be planned anymore.
ReplyDeleteI don't see the owl or cat, I see a side profile of a pregnant woman, beautiful. Aaaah, stillness, my ultimate aim in life! The yoga I do teaches us to cultivate "stillness in motion", having that inner peace, no matter what is going on around us. Challenging in these times, but so necessary. We need to have a balance. It's like a competition, who is busier, who had less sleep, who is juggling more. People are so on edge, all the time and don't even realise it! Beautiful post, thank you, so necessary to write about these sorts of things.xxx.
ReplyDeletethis is so wonderful. i am trying to learn the art of just enjoying life too. oy such a journey!
ReplyDeletexoxo
I keep coming back to this post because it speaks volumes to me. I'm not a very busy person, partly because I'm lazy and I more than enjoy quiet time. Time to read in silence with a candle burning while sipping tea. Quite often I feel bad about this because I realize how busy most people are. That when I get home from work (or whatever it is I'm doing now that I don't work) I should be doing something constructive, more work. But... I don't want to! I would rather enjoy my home and my surroundings and my me time. And so... this post has made me feel not quite so guilty about that. Thank you :)
ReplyDeleteabsolutely essential, except how many years did i not know? and yet i craved it. how i craved it. but ironically, while i value stillness, i value moving within a blank landscape, as well. it is a contradiction with live inside of. it is living itself.
ReplyDeletexo
erin
so true...i actually read this earlier, let it sink in, + just came back to reread this. i'm a chronic to-doer to the point that sometimes i overschedule until i'm plum overwhelmed. my best remedy is watching my kids in action...they seem to have it all figured out, this art of doing 'nothing' :) thanks for eloquently reminding me that it's okay just to be.
ReplyDelete